30 03, 2018

How Do You Recognize the Signs of Elder Abuse?


Q and A with Elaine Video Series #5

What do you do if you suspect an elderly person is being abused?

Answering this question seems simple on the surface, right? You would assume everyone would say, “Report it!” Actually, according to the National Council on Aging, one study estimated that only 1 in 14 cases of abuse are reported to the authorities.*

So why are people reluctant to get involved? Sometimes they don’t want to report it because they haven’t personally witnessed anything, and they aren’t sure if the person actually is being abused.

People may also be afraid of the consequences if they report abuse, especially if a family member is involved. They may not want to get the police involved. Or perhaps they are afraid of causing a […]

15 03, 2018

How Do You Choose the Right Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing Facility?


Q & A with Elaine Video Series #4

According to the National Center for Assisted Living, there are more than 28,000 assisted living facilities in the US providing care for more than one million people. In addition, there are approximately 15,600 skilled nursing facilities that are caring for 1.7 million individuals.

People often find themselves in a situation where they have to choose a long-term care quickly, as I did when my 80-year-old Aunt Jean broke her hip. After surgery, the hospital social worker told me that I would need to put Jean into a skilled nursing facility for short-term rehab. I had two days to make arrangements.

I said, “Okay. Which one do you recommend?”

She told me she wasn’t allowed to give recommendations. She could only […]

5 03, 2018

What tips can you give about caring for someone with dementia?


Q & A with Elaine Video Series #3

Nothing will make caring for a person with dementia easy, but understanding that the disease is in charge and that your loved one is not intentionally doing things to upset you can help reduce a little stress.

Alzheimer’s and other dementia-related diseases rob people of their executive function and their ability to retain memories. As the disease progresses, they will lose countless other skills and abilities. Depending on the area of the brain that is affected, they could lose the ability to understand what is and is not appropriate social behavior.

Some people with dementia develop a heightened interest in sex. It is not unusual for stroke survivors, people with Alzheimer’s, and […]

26 02, 2018

What are the signs of dementia?


Q and A with Elaine Video Series #2

If someone you care about is displaying signs of dementia, your first emotional response will most likely be fear. We are afraid of what the future will hold for them and for us if they are diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or another dementia-related disease.

Denial is also a frequent reaction. Couples don’t want to admit that there is anything wrong, so the healthy spouse takes on more and more responsibilities and they become very adept at hiding the symptoms from friends and family. They learn to compensate and conceal the behavior until there’s a crisis.

When someone tells me they suspect a parent or spouse may have Alzheimer’s, I encourage them to do two things immediately:

The first thing is to get an […]

22 02, 2018

How did you become an expert in caregiving?


Q and A with Elaine Video Series #1

Like most family caregivers, I was totally unprepared to become a long-distance caregiver. Then my dad suffered a stroke. My husband Alex, who has been my partner in creating all of our programs, never expected to care for his first wife until she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. When Alex started suffering with debilitating back pain, we had no idea that it would take eight years and two major surgeries to manage the pain and keep him mobile. Together we cared for my parents for ten years and for my feisty and fiercely independent Aunt Jean from 2006 until her death, shortly after her 90th birthday in 2016.

I don’t think my experience […]

28 01, 2018

Caregiver Help Word of the Day: VOWS

Loving Someone Through Sickness & Health

When most of us repeat our wedding vows, especially when we’re young,  it’s easy to imagine and anticipate the “better,”  “the richer,” and the “in health” portion of the ceremony. I have wondered if anyone would actually go through with it if they understood how difficult maintaining a lifelong commitment can be.

 

 

My question was answered last fall when I spoke at a caregiving conference in Santa Barbara, California where I met Jo Bakker, an elegant woman, who was very well acquainted with the “worse” and “sickness” portions of the vows she had taken fifty-seven years earlier. Jo had been caring for Tom, her 83-year-old husband, who had been suffering from the […]

14 01, 2018

Gratitude

Gratitude Changes Everything

Gratitude Changes EverythingAfter Christmas, my husband and I like to escape the cold, rainy Oregon weather and go someplace warm and sunny for a few weeks.   

I’m embarrassed to admit that this morning, while staying at a lovely resort close to Cancun, Mexico I was feeling a little grumbly because our ground-floor condo smelled musty and moldy. With a large bag of laundry in each hand, I walked up the stairs to the laundry facility and was disappointed to see that there was only one washer and dryer.

As I started putting a load in the washing machine, a tall, black, bald woman entered the room. She explained that as they were packing […]

11 08, 2017

Charlie Gard’s Miracle

Charlie Gard's Miracle Grieving the Loss of a Child

Like most people, I followed Charlie Gard’s story with my fingers crossed, hoping for a miracle. I was saddened by his death on July 28, and I felt compelled to write about this story.

I’d like to invite you to click on this link to read the article I wrote for Huffington Post: “Charlie Gard’s Miracle”

 

22 06, 2017

Feeling ANTSY

Complete a Project to Reduce Stress

Reduce StressI am a project person, and it gives me a great deal of satisfaction to complete tasks once I start them. I don’t wait well, and when I have to rely on other people to move forward on a project, I get antsy. Earlier in the week, my feelings went beyond antsy. I was feeling agitated, irritated, and tense.

I woke up feeling grumbly yesterday morning, so I went for a vigorous walk, which helped release my tension and redirect my thinking. As I was walking, I decided I needed to do something that would help me feel empowered rather than hamstrung.

I thought about several projects that I could do that would not require help from anyone else. […]

1 03, 2017

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

Caring for a Difficult Sibling

caring for a difficult siblingIn a family, it can be difficult to feel “brotherly love” toward all of our siblings, even when everyone is healthy. So what do you do when a sibling with whom you have a challenging relationship needs help?

If you or anyone you know needs a little help figuring out how to care for yourself while caring for a difficult sibling, I’d like to invite you to click on this link to an article I recently wrote for Griswold Home Care.

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

 

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