Caregiver Speaker, Elaine K Sanchez, incorporates real-life caregiving stories with practical, applicable strategies for managing the emotional stress of caregiving into her caregiving videos and support group program. 

In the article below, she writes about dementia-related inappropriate sexual behavior. This is an important topic because most caregivers are not aware that it isn’t unusual for stroke survivors, people living with Alzheimer’s, and individuals who take Dopamine to control the symptoms of Parkinson’s to lose their awareness of what is and isn’t appropriate behavior. 

Understanding Sexuality and Dementia 

Caregivers are surprised (and sometimes shocked) when a person with a dementia-related disease becomes sexually active or aggressive. Unfortunately, people in the medical and long-term care communities rarely warn caregivers that people who are living with cognitive disorders sometimes display surprising and inappropriate sexual behavior. 

So when it happens, family members often get angry, offended, and grossed out. Such was the case with Dorothy, a lovely woman who had put Art, her 83-year-old husband, into a long-term care facility after he suffered a debilitating stroke.  

Everyone understood and accepted the problems Art had with speaking, walking, and using his hand. They knew these issues were a result of the stroke. But when he developed a fervent crush on his 35-year-old physical therapist, his family’s sympathy and compassion quickly turned to disgust. 

Art didn’t know he was doing anything wrong. He saw the therapist every day. She was always cheerful, encouraging, and friendly, which he interpreted as flirtatious. He had no concept of the differences in their ages, he just knew that he was attracted to her, so one day, he asked her to have sex with him. When the therapist told Art she said she liked him, but not in that way, Art got angry. He went to the facility’s administrator and claimed that she was a tease. He said that she had led him on, got him all worked up only to shut him down, and he wanted to file a formal complaint.  

Understandably, the administrator was concerned, the therapist was embarrassed, and Art’s wife Dorothy was furious. 

Some of the stories Caregiver Speaker Elaine Sanchez shares in her CaregiverHelp Support Group Program are very funny. Some are heartbreaking. It’s important to remember that when people have Alzheimer’s or other dementia-related diseases, their erratic behavior is generally a result of the damage that has been done to their brains. Their inhibitions are lowered, and they no longer have an awareness of what qualifies as socially acceptable behavior. 

Their inappropriate sexual expression can also be a result of an unmet need that the person can not adequately express.  

It can be triggered by pain, hunger, or thirst. Sometimes a people with dementia grab ahold of themselves because they need to use the bathroom. They could have a urinary tract infection. They might be longing for some kind of comfort, and they associate sex with their memories of feeling good. Their sexual expression generally has nothing to do with the affection they had for their spouse or partner, and it is not in any way a rejection of their relationship. 

If we can remember that all of us are born sexual beings, and no matter how old or how sick we become, we will always crave affection, comfort, and human touch, it might make our responses to our care receivers a little more compassionate.

People of all ages and stages of life become caregivers. Most of them are not prepared to manage the emotional stress of caring for individuals who are aging, disabled, or living with Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, Huntington’s, and other progressive and degenerative diseases. 

People of all ages and stages of life become caregivers. Most of them are not prepared to manage the emotional stress of caring for individuals who are aging, disabled, or living with Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, Huntington’s, and other progressive and degenerative diseases. 

When caregivers have access to the CaregiverHelp Support Group Program, they will recognize that they are not alone. 

The CaregiverHelp Support Group Program can be offered at live, in-person events. It can also be led on Zoom, as a hybrid model, or as a self-paced program. 

Organizations that provide employee support through their Caregiver ERG programs love being able to offer CaregiverHelp Support Group as a self-paced program. 

Also, as baby boomers age, most HR managers are becoming aware that many of their employees are caring for spouses and aging parents. These employees don’t know what to do or where to turn when they are faced with taking over the healthcare and finances of loved ones who can no longer care for themselves. When offered through an Employee Assistance Program, such as a Caregiver EAP, companies may see reduced stress, fewer absences, and a decreased turnover.  

CaregiverHelp Support Group Program will never make caregiving easy. However, it does provide people with the tools and support they need to make sound decisions, manage their stress, and care for themselves as they try to balance family responsibilities, work, and caregiving.