The second step to developing an attitude of creative indifference toward grief is acceptance. The list of difficult things we have to accept after the loss of a loved one is practically endless. It includes things such as:
The fact that we are all mortal
We didn’t have the power or the ability to change the outcome
We wish we had done some things differently
Our loved one is never coming back
Our role as a caregiver has ended
The pain of our loss will not kill us, and we will have to go on living without him/her
Maybe the place to start is with accepting the fact that there are a lot of contributing and complicating factors when it comes to grief. It can also help to accept the fact that each person experiences loss differently depending on the relationship they had with the deceased, their attitude toward death, their faith and numerous other factors.
Try to accept that wherever you are and whatever you are feeling is real. It is your heart that’s been broken, and it will be up to you to decide when and how to start putting the pieces back together again.
Accept that you will have some bad days, and you will have some horrible days. Some days, no matter which way you turn, you will bump into a memory or a feeling that will cause you pain. You may feel like you are wondering lost in the desert.
Accept that grief is a hard process and there are no shortcuts through it. Also accept that you don’t have to do it alone. There are grief counseling groups offered through Hospice, churches, and many other organizations where you can share your story, your feelings and your fears in a safe and nonjudgmental environment.
Come back tomorrow and we’ll talk about the third step in developing an attitude of creative indifference toward grief. That step is ACTION.