Many, many years ago I was in a very unhappy marriage. I made an appointment with a psychologist because I was guilt-ridden over the fact that I wanted a divorce. I talked rapid-fire for 45 minutes explaining the situation, and when I took a breath, the psychologist said, “You need to get in your own shoes and stay in them.”
I asked her to explain. She said, “You are so tangled up in everyone else’s feelings that you have no idea of where your own feelings begin or end.” She went on to explain that I could not control other people’s behavior, feelings or reactions. I was only responsible for my own.
As a caregiver, you will most likely take on more and more responsibilities as your care receiver loses the ability to care for him/herself. Just remember that no matter how many physical tasks you take over, you cannot control anyone else’s actions, behavior or feelings.
If you can accept that you are only responsible for your own feelings, and you can allow others to be responsible for theirs, it could make your life a lot less stressful.