When Dementia Meets Batty
Caring for someone with dementia often brings dementia behavior changes that are confusing, tender, heartbreaking—and sometimes unexpectedly funny.
When memory, reasoning, and communication change, the relationship changes too. Dementia behavior changes can make everyday interactions feel unfamiliar, and it’s normal to feel like you’re both struggling to make sense of a world that no longer works the way it use
In this CaregiverHelp Thought of the Day, I share a story from one of my support groups that made me laugh and think. A woman said, “I think my husband has dementia, and he thinks I’m batty.” They loved each other deeply, but their ability to communicate had shifted. The dynamic had become confusing, emotional, and often frustrating for both of them.
Then she shared something simple and wise — an acronym that guided how she tried to communicate with her husband as his dementia progressed:
CARE:
- C – Don’t Criticize
- A – Don’t Argue
- R – Don’t Reason
- E – Don’t Explain
What surprised her most was how much this approach helped her too. When she stopped trying to force logic, win arguments, or correct every misunderstanding, things softened. Their interactions became gentler. Their home became calmer. And sometimes… they even laughed together.
Caregiving is not only about managing tasks—it’s about protecting connection, especially when dementia behavior changes begin to affect daily life. And sometimes the smallest shifts can bring the greatest relief.
