25 12, 2014

MIRACLE – Gift of Caregiving

Love – The Miracle Gift of Caregiving

Christmas message for caregiversChristmas is the season of miracles. Today children have awakened to find gifts from Santa. Volunteers have helped grant wishes by ringing bells and collecting food, clothing and toys. The generosity of those in a position to give has provided countless Christmas miracles for people in need. However, when money can’t fix a problem, miracles are more difficult to create. When we’re caring for someone who has run out of medical miracles, we have to look beyond the needs of the body. A friend whose husband had fought a long and arduous battle with cancer, wrote to me and said, “We prayed for him to get well. That didn’t happen, but he […]

22 12, 2014

HANDS – Support for Caregivers

HANDS- A Message of Inspiration
and Support for Caregivers

Caregiver handsThis morning I came across a quote from St. Teresa of Avila that I think offers tremendous support for caregivers. She said, “Christ has no body now on earth but yours. No hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ’s compassion looks out on the world. Yours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good. And yours are the hands with which he is to bless us now.”

I love this quote, and it made me think of a Christmas gift I received many years ago from my parents. In July my mother started sending […]

31 10, 2014

UNPLUG – Why Caregivers Need Respite

Caregiver Help Photo of 3-year-old Leah in a corn fieldCaregivers need respite like they need air. It’s easy to get tied up in meeting the needs of care receivers and forget all about the importance of self care.

I’ve spent the last three weeks at my computer with my brain was tied up in knots. Yesterday morning I unplugged from from my work so Alex and I could accompany our three-year-old granddaughter on a pre-school field trip to a pumpkin patch. We witnessed her excitement on a hay-ride to an apple orchard and her glee as she picked an apple for each of us. We laughed as she lifted one pumpkin after another until she found the one that was […]

30 10, 2014

– FOCUS –
Caregiver Word of the Day

IMG_1459I grew up in Kansas, so I was hoping the Kansas City Royals would win the World Series. I was bummed! But this morning when I read the paper, I was truly impressed by a comment from the Giant’s left-handed pitcher, Madison Bumgarner. He said, “I wasn’t thinking about innings or pitch count. I was just thinking about getting outs, getting outs, until I couldn’t get them any more and we needed someone else.”

Granted, caregiving isn’t as exciting (or as high paying) as professional sports, but they are alike in that both jobs require a huge commitment of time, energy and dedication. They are also similar in that most of the time ball players and caregivers have to focus on […]

29 10, 2014

– VIEW –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Caregiver Help Photo of the Willamette ValleyWe built our house on a hill so we could enjoy the view of the Willamette Valley and the Oregon Coastal Range. The first thing I do every morning is go to the window and check the view. During the summer months I have a tendency to declare, “Oh! What a beautiful morning!” Now that the winter rains have started, I tend to think, “Oh! What a lousy day!”

Yesterday it occurred to me that the trees and mountains don’t move. They are always gorgeous. The only thing that changes is the weather and my attitude toward it.

Today I hope you will take a few minutes to look deep into your heart. If you […]

27 10, 2014

– FLIP-SIDE –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Caregiver Help Photo of pink dahliasI recently wrote a guest blog for Griswold Home Care about the flip-side of caregiving. If you’d like to read the entire article, click here: http://www.griswoldhomecare.com/blog/other-side-of-caregiving-what-its-like-to-receive-care/. If you’re short of time, here’s the cliff notes version of the last three paragraphs.

When someone we love is suffering we have to find the physical strength to meet their needs while also taking on tasks they used to handle when they were well. Frequently we have to do all of this when we are emotionally drained and bone-tired from lack of sleep. We have to summon the will to continue to love them when pain, disease, depression or dementia causes them to act in a manner that isn’t […]

25 10, 2014

Caregiver Help Word of the Day MAGNIFICENT

Caregiver Help photo of an Oregon waterfallLast night my husband and I attended a symphony concert. As I watched the musicians pull their bows across the violins, violas and bass instruments, it occurred to me that it’s the friction against the strings that creates the magnificent music. Without that tension and pressure, all of those instruments would just be pretty, silent wooden boxes.

Perhaps it’s the same with us. We would probably never know the extent of our strength, the depth of our love, or the true quality of our character if we lived a life free of trouble. In one letter my mother wrote while caring for my dad, she said, “I wouldn’t have wished this last five years on […]

23 10, 2014

– GRACE –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Caregiver Help Photo of yellow rosesThanks to all of you who shared your stories and support yesterday. Today I want to tell you about my beautiful, intelligent gentle friend Grace.

She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about two years ago. The doctor told her with aggressive chemotherapy she might have a year. About nine months into it the doctor said the treatment wasn’t working and he wanted to try something else that might give her a few extra months. Grace said “No thank you. I love my life, but I’m not afraid of death. I’m done.”

She called her best friend Lani, shared the news and said, “I’d like to have a party as soon as possible.” That was Monday. On […]

22 10, 2014

– END –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Caregiver Help photo of a pink and purple sunsetA reader who follows my blog wrote to tell me her heart was breaking because she’d just put her significant other into Hospice care. I’ve thought about her all day yesterday, and have come to the conclusion that the only thing worse than putting loved ones in Hospice is NOT putting them in Hospice.

A few years ago our 42-year-old nephew was dying with cancer. He’d been recently divorced, so his parents became his full-time caregivers. When it was evident that Steve was not going to recover, they contacted their local Hospice. When Steve’s doctor got the call from Hospice, he stormed into Steve’s hospital room and said, “So you’re giving up on […]

21 10, 2014

– HOW –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Caregiver Help Photo of a pale pink roseI hadn’t intended to write about death and dying this week, but that’s what’s happening around me, so I have to address it.

Last week I lost a dear friend to cancer. Jim Wiles was a fine man. We served on a nonprofit board together. I read one of my children’s book to his daughter’s class when Anna was in first grade. (She’s now a sophomore in college.) We attended the same church, and we were friends with his parents. Like our son’s-in-law sister, Sally, Jim lived a good life and died way too soon. Yesterday a woman who follows my blog wrote to tell me that she had lost a family member in […]

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