Caregiver Word of the Day Archives - Page 3 of 15

20 10, 2014

– MORTAL –
Caregiver Word of the Day

We are grieving the loss of our son’s-in-law sister Sally. She died this morning after a long and valiant battle with cancer. She will be missed terribly by her family, friends and community.

Facing our own mortality is not easy, but Sally did it with incredible grace and dignity. When she knew there was no hope for a medical cure, she took control of the remainder of her life. She went into Hospice care knowing that they would help her manage her pain. Unable to digest food, she did agree to a feeding tube that provided nourishment long enough for her to get her affairs in order, spend a long weekend with her extended family […]

19 10, 2014

– BELIEVE –
Caregiver Word of the Day

A few weeks ago in the middle of the church service, my 6-year-old granddaughter piped up and said, “My parents don’t believe in God.” I whispered, “I know. That’s okay. Papa and I do, and you can too.”

I wasn’t happy with my response. A few days later I asked our priest how he describes God. He replied, “The Bible says, ‘God is love’”. My response was, “Of course. That explains everything.”

When you are a caregiver, it’s easy to get discouraged and to question where God is in all of this. I believe the answer is that God is in each of us in the form of love. It’s love that gives us the patience to care […]

18 10, 2014

– VALID –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Caregivers tend to have unreasonable expectations of themselves. When we don’t feel patient, nurturing and kind, we judge ourselves harshly.

Caregiving exhausts a person physically, mentally and emotionally. The day-to-day monotony of it can leave us feeling sad and cheated. My mother often said, “My husband died on October 30, 1993. We just haven’t gotten around to burying him yet.” There were days when it was hard for her to remember who he had been before his stroke and days when it was hard for her to love the man he had become.

Having negative feelings doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. If you are caring for a stroke survivor, someone with Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s or […]

16 10, 2014

– JACKPOT –
Caregiver Word of the Day

My daughter works for the Oregon Lottery. Last week a lackluster man came in to collect on a winning ticket. He said, “I won a little money.” Annie checked the ticket and exclaimed, “You didn’t win a LITTLE money. You won TWENTY-SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!” The man shrugged.

Turns out he’d had a vision of winning the Mega Bucks jackpot while standing in line at a taco truck waiting for his food, so he bought a ticket. He was so confident that he’d win the big jackpot that he couldn’t get enthused about winning just $26,000. I suspect Annie felt like slapping him. She said, “Twenty-six thousand dollars would change my life!”

Her story made me think about caregivers […]

15 10, 2014

– TRUST –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Coral Rose – Inspiration for caregivers I am a huge advocate of education. Attending conferences and learning as much as you can about a specific disease helps you understand and manage the challenges of caring for a loved one. It can also prepare you for what may be ahead. Knowledge is power. It can also be very scary.

Last summer when my husband was going through a major health crises, I went into a bit of an emotional tailspin with “what if” thinking. Thankfully, none of my worst fears came to fruition. Alex got better.

It took some effort, but as we went through this ordeal, I learned to accept that I was […]

14 10, 2014

– LONELY –
Caregiver Word of the Day

If your care receiver has mobility issues or requires a great deal of assistance, staying connected socially becomes difficult. I hope you will make the effort to do it, though, because the distance between lonely and depressed can be very, very short.

My parents used to participate in a monthly pot-luck luncheon at their church. They stopped going when Dad could no longer manage the stairs. Feeling the need to be with people, Mom decided to invite all 24 members of the group to the farm for breakfast. She had a lot of fun getting prepared, but the big surprise was how much my dad enjoyed it.

She wrote, “Quentin was sitting with some particularly interesting people, […]

13 10, 2014

– EXERCISE –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Yesterday I had the honor of speaking about understanding and managing caregiver anger and guilt at the Symposium for Parkinson’s Disease in Portland, Oregon. The event was sponsored by OHSU (Oregon Health & Sciences University). I also attended other sessions presented by doctors who talked about brain health.

Dr. Joe Quinn talked about how stress interferes with brain cell synthesis and how it actually changes the physical structure of brain cells. He emphasized that exercise is one of the most effective stress relievers,and one of the best things we can do for our brains. He recommended going to the American Heart Association’s website: Life’s Simple 7. Here’s a link to a free self-assessment: http://mylifecheck.heart.org/PledgePage.aspx?NavID=5&CultureCode=en-US

I know you may be thinking that […]

7 10, 2014

– TOUCH –
Caregiver Word of the Day

When I spoke at a conference in Georgia a few years ago, one of the attendees told me that she had almost given up on communicating with her father who was in the final stage of Alzheimer’s.

She went to see him every day, and she’d done everything she could think of to connect with him. She had talked, she’d read books and played his favorite music. Nothing she did created even a flicker of interest or recognition. Feeling defeated one day, she sat down next to his bed.

As she grieved the fact that her father was lost to her, she took his hand in hers and started stroking it gently. As she thought about the man he’d been before […]

6 10, 2014

– CAPABLE –
Caregiver Word of the Day

My friend Charles Schoenfeld, who spent most of his career working as a UPS delivery truck driver, was in his mid-fifties when he started volunteering at the memory care community where his mother lived. When he realized he loved working with people who have Alzheimer’s, he retired from UPS and became a CNA.

A few years ago he wrote the book, “A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to the Dementia Ward”. This is one of my favorite paragraphs:

“I often heard apologies from the families of those living with Alzheimer’s. People tried desperately to excuse the behavior of a loved one whose mind had been set adrift. I hope this book reaches you. I hope to convey a message There are people who understand. Your loved one, regardless of his […]

5 10, 2014

– APPROACH –
Caregiver Word of the Day

As Alzheimer’s Disease progresses, people lose their peripheral vision. The impact of being able to see only what is directly in front of them shrinks their world and makes the activities that are happening around them even more confusing and frightening.

If you want to see what this is like, try cupping your hands around your eyes like a set of binoculars. Now imagine how startling it would be if someone you hadn’t heard or seen suddenly put a hand on your shoulder.

There isn’t anything you can do to stop the progression of the disease, but you can reduce the stress for your care receiver by always approaching them from the front. Make sure they see you coming. When you […]

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