Elaine K Sanchez Archives - Page 2 of 10

22 10, 2014

– END –
Caregiver Word of the Day

A reader who follows my blog wrote to tell me her heart was breaking because she’d just put her significant other into Hospice care. I’ve thought about her all day yesterday, and have come to the conclusion that the only thing worse than putting loved ones in Hospice is NOT putting them in Hospice.

A few years ago our 42-year-old nephew was dying with cancer. He’d been recently divorced, so his parents became his full-time caregivers. When it was evident that Steve was not going to recover, they contacted their local Hospice. When Steve’s doctor got the call from Hospice, he stormed into Steve’s hospital room and said, “So you’re giving up on […]

21 10, 2014

– HOW –
Caregiver Word of the Day

I hadn’t intended to write about death and dying this week, but that’s what’s happening around me, so I have to address it.

Last week I lost a dear friend to cancer. Jim Wiles was a fine man. We served on a nonprofit board together. I read one of my children’s book to his daughter’s class when Anna was in first grade. (She’s now a sophomore in college.) We attended the same church, and we were friends with his parents. Like our son’s-in-law sister, Sally, Jim lived a good life and died way too soon. Yesterday a woman who follows my blog wrote to tell me that she had lost a family member in […]

20 10, 2014

– MORTAL –
Caregiver Word of the Day

We are grieving the loss of our son’s-in-law sister Sally. She died this morning after a long and valiant battle with cancer. She will be missed terribly by her family, friends and community.

Facing our own mortality is not easy, but Sally did it with incredible grace and dignity. When she knew there was no hope for a medical cure, she took control of the remainder of her life. She went into Hospice care knowing that they would help her manage her pain. Unable to digest food, she did agree to a feeding tube that provided nourishment long enough for her to get her affairs in order, spend a long weekend with her extended family […]

19 10, 2014

– BELIEVE –
Caregiver Word of the Day

A few weeks ago in the middle of the church service, my 6-year-old granddaughter piped up and said, “My parents don’t believe in God.” I whispered, “I know. That’s okay. Papa and I do, and you can too.”

I wasn’t happy with my response. A few days later I asked our priest how he describes God. He replied, “The Bible says, ‘God is love’”. My response was, “Of course. That explains everything.”

When you are a caregiver, it’s easy to get discouraged and to question where God is in all of this. I believe the answer is that God is in each of us in the form of love. It’s love that gives us the patience to care […]

18 10, 2014

– VALID –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Caregivers tend to have unreasonable expectations of themselves. When we don’t feel patient, nurturing and kind, we judge ourselves harshly.

Caregiving exhausts a person physically, mentally and emotionally. The day-to-day monotony of it can leave us feeling sad and cheated. My mother often said, “My husband died on October 30, 1993. We just haven’t gotten around to burying him yet.” There were days when it was hard for her to remember who he had been before his stroke and days when it was hard for her to love the man he had become.

Having negative feelings doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. If you are caring for a stroke survivor, someone with Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s or […]

16 10, 2014

– JACKPOT –
Caregiver Word of the Day

My daughter works for the Oregon Lottery. Last week a lackluster man came in to collect on a winning ticket. He said, “I won a little money.” Annie checked the ticket and exclaimed, “You didn’t win a LITTLE money. You won TWENTY-SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!” The man shrugged.

Turns out he’d had a vision of winning the Mega Bucks jackpot while standing in line at a taco truck waiting for his food, so he bought a ticket. He was so confident that he’d win the big jackpot that he couldn’t get enthused about winning just $26,000. I suspect Annie felt like slapping him. She said, “Twenty-six thousand dollars would change my life!”

Her story made me think about caregivers […]

15 10, 2014

– TRUST –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Coral Rose – Inspiration for caregivers I am a huge advocate of education. Attending conferences and learning as much as you can about a specific disease helps you understand and manage the challenges of caring for a loved one. It can also prepare you for what may be ahead. Knowledge is power. It can also be very scary.

Last summer when my husband was going through a major health crises, I went into a bit of an emotional tailspin with “what if” thinking. Thankfully, none of my worst fears came to fruition. Alex got better.

It took some effort, but as we went through this ordeal, I learned to accept that I was […]

14 10, 2014

– LONELY –
Caregiver Word of the Day

If your care receiver has mobility issues or requires a great deal of assistance, staying connected socially becomes difficult. I hope you will make the effort to do it, though, because the distance between lonely and depressed can be very, very short.

My parents used to participate in a monthly pot-luck luncheon at their church. They stopped going when Dad could no longer manage the stairs. Feeling the need to be with people, Mom decided to invite all 24 members of the group to the farm for breakfast. She had a lot of fun getting prepared, but the big surprise was how much my dad enjoyed it.

She wrote, “Quentin was sitting with some particularly interesting people, […]

13 10, 2014

– EXERCISE –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Yesterday I had the honor of speaking about understanding and managing caregiver anger and guilt at the Symposium for Parkinson’s Disease in Portland, Oregon. The event was sponsored by OHSU (Oregon Health & Sciences University). I also attended other sessions presented by doctors who talked about brain health.

Dr. Joe Quinn talked about how stress interferes with brain cell synthesis and how it actually changes the physical structure of brain cells. He emphasized that exercise is one of the most effective stress relievers,and one of the best things we can do for our brains. He recommended going to the American Heart Association’s website: Life’s Simple 7. Here’s a link to a free self-assessment: http://mylifecheck.heart.org/PledgePage.aspx?NavID=5&CultureCode=en-US

I know you may be thinking that […]

4 10, 2014

– EMPATHIZE –
Caregiver Word of the Day

My friend Helen’s mother has Alzheimer’s. One morning Margaret called Helen in a panic and said, “All of my money is gone! My bank account is has been emptied out and I’m completely broke.”

Helen calmly explained to her mother that she was confused. She said, “I’m managing your money, Mother. I pay all your bills, and you still have have lots of money in the bank.” The more she tried to explain the more upset Margaret became. The next morning Margaret called again crying that all of her money had been stolen. This went on for days before Helen called me.

I suggested Helen respond to her mother as if the situation was real. So the next morning when Margaret […]

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