gerontology and caregiving

When I went for a walk yesterday, I noticed a little yellow flower growing out of a crack in a concrete wall. I have always been fascinated by the life force that enables a plant to grow in the least favorable conditions.

However, I looked at that little plant a bit differently as I compared it to my own situation. I realized it will not thrive in that environment for very long without adequate soil, water and fertilizer – just as I won’t thrive if I don’t get back into my exercise routine.

My work, travel and family schedule has been extremely hectic for the past few months, and I’ve let self-care slide. I started back to my exercise class on Monday, and it is kicking my butt!

There are […]

When my alarm went off at 5:30, I stayed in bed for a few extra minutes and prayed that God would guide the doctor this morning when Alex arrived at the pain management clinic for another round of steroid injections in his back.

The last few treatments haven’t worked. It’s hard to know whether the doctor hasn’t hit the right spot or if Alex’s back has deteriorated to the point that the treatments are no longer going to be effective in alleviating his pain.

I also prayed that I would be guided in keeping our marriage balanced and happy. I asked for help managing the relationships with our children, family members and friends. In addition, I asked for guidance in my speaking and writing.

Maintaining emotional, mental and spiritual equilibrium […]

Yesterday Alex and I graded our students’ final papers for the course we co-teach at Western Oregon University. One student wrote about her mother’s experience of caring for a special needs child. This is what she said:

“My best way to define caregiving for a special needs child is this; the more we serve, the more we love. So by the very nature of the situation, when you have a special needs child, you have to serve so much more than you do with a child that’s independent and can do for themselves. So through that sacrifice of serving, you love deeply. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. It just happens. It’s not that I love her more than you or your brother, it’s just different. The offset […]

When my three brothers from Kansas called to say they were coming for a visit, I was pleased but a little nervous. The last time all four of us were together was in 2002 when we met at the attorney’s office after Mom died. That was an excruciatingly painful experience, and we’ve had limited contact since then.

I knew their main purpose for coming to Oregon was to see our 87-year-old Aunt Jean, but I invited them to stay with us.

Here’s what happened . . . We acknowledged that the years after Dad’s stroke were painful. None of us defended, explained or apologized for anything that happened. We avoided conversations about politics and religion. Everyone was kind and thoughtful, and we found common ground.

My oldest brother Larry said, […]

I write an article once a month for Griswold Home Care’s blog, CaringTimes. My article for June is about how my mother’s experience as a caregiver inspired me to launch a post-retirement writing and speaking career.
I hope you’ll find the time to read the article. Who knows! It may inspire you to use your own experience as a caregiver to help others!

Caregiver Inspiration – How One Woman’s Letters Tell a Remarkable Story of Strength, Courage and Humor

Whenever I walk out the door I’m toting a purse in which I carry a wallet, tissues, lipstick and my cell phone. If our little granddaughters are with us, I also carry juice boxes, Goldfish, colors and notebooks.

When I leave home for a speaking engagement, I carry one suitcase filled with books, workbooks, DVD’s and business cards. I carry another one filled with clothes, makeup and shoes.

Although I often lose track of my keys and don’t always remember to put my cell phone in the same pocket of my purse, these physical things are fairly easy to keep track of and manage. The things that can be heavier to carry and harder to manage are my memories, feelings, and perceptions about the people, events and situations in the […]

I had a surprise phone call yesterday from Nancy, a woman who had attended a workshop I did in Visalia, California four years ago. She just wanted to say hello and tell me that all of the people she had been caring for at that time finally died.

She then said, “I do wonder, though, who is taking care of who now. I think my husband is demented, and he thinks I’m batty. We attended a seminar at one of those continuous care communities about a month ago. The person who did the presentation said that if you are dealing with someone who has Alzheimer’s there are four things things you should never do. The letters spell the word CARE.”

You should not:

C: Criticize
A: Argue
R: Reason
E: […]